Never Say...

I know I've really neglected this dear little blog, and for a very good reason. I've been in denial. Over the past few months, I've really been struggling to maintain my weight. I have a health issue, and the treatment has been making me gain weight, weight that comes as a surprise to a person who has always been curvy but svelte, or even curvy but scrawny at times. Every time I step on the scale though, up my weight has crept, now to a number that I never thought I would reach in my life.

One of my doctors recently asked if I exercised at all. This was the real blow to my ego. Those of you who know my dance floor stamina know this-- aerobic exercise is not an issue for this heart. I've always been called the Energizer Bunny because of my energy and love of dance. When there's good music playing, I'm out there moving.

So, while I plan to improvise more at home, that's not enough. I have to say what I thought I'd never say--diet. I had tried to just modify and lighten my eating plan, but it was already pescatarian and healthy. There just wasn't much to cut. Still, the pounds continued to rack up, and I realized that I needed something more aggressive. After doing some research, I picked the vegetarian South Beach diet.

The first day was great! I love vegetables, and soy cheese and tempeh and eggs! The next two days have not been so easy. I'm happy overall with the food choices, it's just that I have had some bouts of not feeling well. I know this is just my body adjusting/ cleansing and will be stubborn. As my friend said, "If (I) don't cheat, (my) body has no choice but to respond."

This salad was positively dreamy; I eliminated the carb and sugar heavy toppings--it didn't need it. Instead, a handful of kalamata olives did the trick. I had made portobello mushroom "pizzas" with fresh garlic from the farmer's market, basil, hot peppers, and mozzarella (part-skim). That is not too different from how I normally eat, and I feel pretty good.

This past Sunday, I danced in a nursing home. It was a wonderful experience giving to such a giving, generous audience. You might know that I am very interested in Buddhist teaching--and I'm not in denial about growing old myself. So, that helped. I appreciate my young-ish body, and what it can do, but I also want to stay active, fit, in-shape, and healthy in a cautionary way, too.

Something that is beneficial about dance is that it encourages acceptance of myself, no matter where I am on the scale. Because that is a reflection of my life--my hardships, my efforts, my realities of my life. I would so be lying if I didn't say that I can't wait to show off the abs that I must be hiding right now.